1. Sorry, I'm late. Air traffic.
2. I didn't forget. You just failed to remind me.
3. Of course that wasn't me. That was clearly a man who looked like me and coincidentally has the same name as... *ahem* me. Look, he was obviously an imposter because I was nowhere near The Viper Room. Do I look like a man who would go see a Pussycat Dolls show? .... Don't answer that. 
4. I wouldn't call that an explosion. Maybe just a minor malfunction of two very combustible agents.
5. My excuse? See that redhead over there? Go ask her.